


ever since the world began

by bevioletskies



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bevioletskies/pseuds/bevioletskies
Summary: “This is nice, this...this pillow talk.” Peter snuggled a little further into the duvet. Gamora didn’t look too impressed.“Comparing familial traumas,veryromantic,” she drawled, though her tone was betrayed by her insistence on moving closer. “Do youreallywant to hear about this, Peter?”“If he’s getting as close as you say, then yeah, yeah I do.” He brushed a kiss into her hair. “Also, I just like listening to you talk.”“You’re so weird,” Gamora said affectionately. “Well, if you insist.”





	ever since the world began

**Author's Note:**

> I already had a “Peter and Gamora discuss Gamora’s childhood” drabble idea in mind anyway, but those shots of young Gamora in the latest trailer finally got me to get to it! This takes place post-GOTG Vol. 2, pre-Infinity War (and will probably definitely not be canon once Infinity War comes out).
> 
> Warning for discussion of pretty heavy topics, as this is basically all about Gamora’s past. Fic title is from the song [Ever Since The World Began](https://open.spotify.com/track/2yx6DUrIIGXSAwrvfBrTKQ) by Survivor, though it's (mostly) unrelated to the plot.

Peter hummed mindlessly to himself as he made his way through the Milano, tapping his fingers in a nonsensical beat along its walls to ensure everything was solid - well, as solid as it could be. Their most recent job had rattled them, physically _and_ metaphorically. He smiled as he approached the door to his bedroom, knowing that it wasn’t really _just_ his, not anymore.

“She’s steady,” Peter announced, shutting the door behind him. Gamora barely looked up from her book.

“Good,” she murmured absently, turning the page, though she shuffled over to allow Peter into bed. “We don’t need a repeat of the _last_ time we got attacked in the middle of the night.”

“That High Priestess seriously needs to chill out, it’s not like we have her batteries anymore,” he grumbled, climbing in beside her. Gamora chuckled softly, setting her book aside, her thumb still tucked into its crease, so she could look at him properly. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said, smiling a bit wider. “So, are we going to talk about what we saw earlier, or…”

“My general rule of thumb is to _not_ talk about my girlfriend’s dad while I’m in bed with her,” he replied, leaning in for a kiss. She obliged, though only for a brief moment, before pulling away.

“I’m serious, Peter,” she chastised gently. “It’s becoming a pattern. He’s clearly on his way to Terra. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Of course it bothers me, but...you said it yourself. We can’t beat him,” he said, twisting his hands in his lap.

“I don’t _know_ if we can beat him,” she corrected. “That doesn’t mean we can’t try.”

He couldn’t help but smile at that. For all of Gamora’s realism, she never did stray too far from wanting to do the right thing, no matter how impossible it seemed. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Hell, we managed to kill my dad, and he was a power-crazy Celestial planet of doom.”

“And Thanos will be a thousand times worse, believe me,” Gamora sighed. “With the Infinity Stones...he’ll be unbeatable.”

“It must’ve sucked, growing up bein’ terrified all the time,” Peter said quietly. He slid his arm around her shoulders, his fingers kneading their way through her hair. It was one of the few things he knew would soothe her. “I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if...if Yondu had taken me to Ego after all.”

“You would be very different,” Gamora replied thoughtfully, leaning to meet his touch. “Ego would have wanted to make you feel like you were the most special being in the world. Yondu wanted you to belong.”

“I’d probably be a galaxy-conquering douchebag if Ego ended up raising me,” Peter shuddered. “But then again, Thanos was no good to you, and you turned out pretty damn okay anyways.”

Gamora flushed at the compliment. “I’ll contend to that. Though I suppose in his own twisted way, Thanos thought he was showing love.”

“ _Thanos?_ ” Peter recoiled. “There’s no way.”

Gamora nodded, almost apologetic. “Oh, believe me, I’m not saying he has any redeeming qualities. But sometimes, he tried to be kind. Personally, I think I would have preferred that he was just cruel to me like he was to everyone else. Then the other children wouldn’t have targeted me.” Quieter, she added, “Then maybe Nebula and I would be even.”

“What kind of kindness?” At Gamora’s puzzled expression, he continued, “I just wanna know more about him, so I know exactly what to kick his ass for. I also talk your ear off about my mom and Yondu all the time, so let’s make it even.”

“Really, _this_ is what you want to talk about? _Now_?”

“This is nice, this...this pillow talk.” Peter snuggled a little further into the duvet. Gamora didn’t look too impressed.

“Comparing familial traumas, _very_ romantic,” she drawled, though her tone was betrayed by her insistence on moving closer. “Do you _really_ want to hear about this, Peter?”

“If he’s getting as close as you say, then yeah, yeah I do.” He brushed a kiss into her hair. “Also, I just like listening to you talk.”

“You’re so weird,” Gamora said affectionately. “Well, if you insist.”

“I mean, it’s a request, not a demand,” Peter frowned. “We can talk about something else. I know it’s a sore subject for you.”

“It’s a conversation we should have,” Gamora replied. “Besides, _I_ was the one who brought him up in the first place, so go ahead. Ask me whatever’s on your mind. Within reason,” she added, prodding him teasingly in the chest.

“What happened when he took you?” Peter then winced. “That’s probably the worst one I could’ve started with, huh?”

“I’m too used to your ‘talk first, think later’ mentality to be too offended,” she chuckled softly. Her face fell a little bit as her memories came back to her, a little bit at a time, then all at once. “Thanos...it wasn’t like he just picked me up by the ankles and dragged me away. For all his thuggish ways - his armies, his aggression - his siege on my planet was more about toppling all our systems than anything else. It was only after everything was quite literally in flames, did he tear my people apart. Including...my parents.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she inhaled sharply in an attempt to cover it up. Concerned, Peter pulled her in a little tighter, his hand coming to rest on her back, rubbing comforting circles.

“And you?” he asked quietly. “Why did he choose you?”

She swallowed. “To be honest, I...I don’t know,” she admitted. “Taking a child makes sense. Their minds, their loyalties, they’re still pliable, easily shaped. But me specifically? Maybe he saw something in me that day, something that made me stand out in the crowd. And maybe this makes me a coward but...sometimes I wish I had died that day instead. Then I wouldn’t have to live with the weight of everything he had me do.”

“It’s not cowardly, it...sadly, makes sense,” Peter sighed, sinking into her. Her fingers were now furled tight around his waist, a stark contrast to the looseness of her body language from before. He was starting to wonder if this conversation was a good idea after all - but as she said, they would have come to terms with what was going to happen eventually. That facing Thanos was about as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning. “I dunno how you do it sometimes, Gamora. You hold yourself together so well.”

“It still plays in my mind, each and every day,” she murmured. “With every life I save, I can’t help but think of the life I’ve taken. How I was tortured so I could learn how to torture others.”

“But you had no choice - ”

“I did. I did have a choice,” Gamora interrupted fiercely, though her anger wasn’t directed at him. “And I only made that choice four years ago, when I decided to betray Ronan, and by extension, Thanos. When I met all of you.”

“Billions of people,” Peter echoed, thinking to her words from so long ago. “You did the right thing in the end, doesn’t that count?”

“Escaping with the Infinity Stone was my attempt at atoning for what I’ve done. Me staying to ‘guard the galaxy’, so to speak, is me setting things right.” Gamora uncurled from Peter’s side, stretching her hands out in front of her as if to examine her fingernails, but they were trembling too much for her to make sense of anything. “If it takes the rest of my life to do it...then so be it.”

Peter pulled away entirely for a moment, giving her space. Her breath was a little weaker than before, a little more unsure. He had seen Gamora despondent plenty of times over their years together - despite appearances, she was no less emotional than anyone else on the team, just better at keeping it to herself - but this was more resignation than anything else.

“...Gamora - ”

“He took my hand, and led me away,” she continued suddenly. “He asked that I refer to him as my father. Early on, he told me I was his favorite daughter.” Her lip curled in disgust. “I only believed him because I saw the way he treated others. The things he did to them, to Nebula.”

“What was it all for? I mean, most people don’t just do stuff like that ‘cause they feel like it,” Peter amended.

Gamora chuckled darkly. “He believes his ultimate purpose...is to wipe out half the universe. That it will balance everything out. We were trained to carry out that very idea in the _thousands_ , and to seek out greater power along the way. Hence, the Infinity Stones.” She looked at Peter then, her eyes a little bit brighter, almost hopeful. “I take it to mean that Earth is in possession of one. Otherwise, he wouldn’t waste his time traveling there himself.”

“All signs point to it,” Peter nodded. He was still processing her words, her memories. There was still so much ambiguity about her life, so much left unsaid, but at the same time, he didn’t need to hear any more. Gamora didn’t need to relive her greatest fears like this, she just wanted to face them when she was ready. “Thanks. For telling me all that stuff. And sorry if I freaked you out with those questions. I guess I wanted to understand you better, but...I think I already do.”

“I have told you things I would never tell anyone else,” Gamora said with a shaky laugh, though her voice was getting stronger again. “And I know I’m that person for you. You don’t exactly go around spilling your feelings to Drax.”

“I like the sound of that,” Peter said, cocking his head thoughtfully. “We’re each other’s person. Good times, bad times, ambiguous times for when one person is super sorry for that thing they said - ”

“I’ve forgiven you, Peter, let it go,” she chided, pulling him back into her. The suspicious glossiness in her dark eyes seemed to have faded, replaced with a warmth she usually only reserved for him (and maybe the others, if they were good). “And I’m glad I got that all out, honestly. It might make it easier for me to face him if I come to terms with myself.”

“Well, you won’t have to do it alone.” He reached for her, cupping her face with one hand, the other resting on the small of her back. “We came all this way, and I ain’t about to turn back. Even if I am kind of incredibly terrified.”

“At least we don’t have the fear of not knowing what to be scared of,” Gamora commented. Her hands slid around the back of his neck, her thumbs grazing his hairline. He shivered a little at the touch, despite it being so familiar to him. “Now, I’ve told my story. You tell me another one of yours.”

“You’re not sick of ‘em yet?” Peter laughed, relieved. Making Gamora uncomfortable was one of the last things he wanted to do, and he felt like he had skirted the line just now, dangerously toeing the line. She seemed to have recovered though, an easy smile having returned to her face.

“I could use a more light-hearted way to close out the night,” she said thoughtfully, tipping her chin very slightly so she could press a kiss into the crook of his jaw. “Unless you had something else in mind.” He felt very warm all of a sudden.

“Either is good,” he squeaked. “Or, y’know, both. Both is also very, _very_ good.”

She leaned back somewhat so she could take his face in her hands, their eyes meeting in a comforting gaze. Trust, safety, stability - all things she had valued and lost so long ago, things she never thought she would find again. But earlier in the morning when they were having their team breakfast, in the afternoon when Groot had finally come out of hiding to play video games with them, or now, in this very bed, where she and Peter could be as honest as they had ever been, it was all here. And it would be here for her, her new home with her new family. As cliche as it was, this was where her world had begun anew.

Gamora rested her forehead against his, watched as Peter’s eyes followed her every move, affectionate as ever. “Both it is,” she murmured, leaning in to close the gap.

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the notes at the top, I've been wanting to write a little pre-Infinity War one-shot where Gamora talks to Peter about her childhood for a while now, but I was pleasantly surprised when yesterday's trailer showed that we're going to actually see some of it! I tried to keep her descriptions as vague as possible so it won't later get disputed by canon, but who knows what'll happen haha
> 
> I'm a bit rusty with writing movie-verse Peter/Gamora (I'm more used to writing AUs) so constructive criticism would be lovely! Thank you for reading, comments and kudos would be much appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed this random little drabble I wrote in two hours :)


End file.
